A Sun‑Baked Saga of Chaos, Calamity & Cricketing Brilliance

The day began in classic Lavant fashion: the skipper was late for the toss due to “work engagements,” which everyone agreed was suspiciously vague. With no captain in sight, Prof — the Chidham skipper — happily chose to bat on a hard, sun‑baked pitch that looked like it had been left in an oven overnight. Lavant opened beautifully from the River End with miserly bowling. Kier set the tone with a tight spell of 0–13 off 4 overs, and Dave “Bursar” Burford matched him stride for stride, finishing with 1–13 off 4, his wicket coming courtesy of a sharp stumping from stand‑in keeper Steve “Fraser’s Dad” Cox. The River End was basically a no‑fun zone for batters. Then came the chaos. Two run outs — one from Max, one from Vice‑Captain Will Mac — both immediately after a tactical field change involving the skipper wandering off to Fine Leg like he was inspecting the shrubbery and hiding in the shade. Max followed this up with an over that can only be described as “cinematic”: first ball short and launched for six, second ball a dot, third ball clean bowled. Redemption achieved.Tam “The Overseas” entered the attack next, steaming in at a blistering 15mph, a pace so gentle the ball could have stopped for a chat on the way through. But effectiveness beats speed — he clean bowled the number five and finished with a ludicrously economical 1–5 off 5 overs. Chairman Marky Mark took over and delivered two overs for 0–8, keeping things tidy while looking like a man who alphabetises his spice rack. Chidham found themselves 86–4 on a tricky pitch, and Lavant were well on top.

At one point in the match, another chance at a run out. Willie mack hurled in a ball at the stumps. Completely missed it and Prof decided to walk off. As Lavant are always good Sportsman, we called him back. 

Then came debutant Ben Campbell, fresh off a two‑month holiday hiatus in Asia. Jet‑lagged or not, he bowled beautifully: two overs for seven, another for three, and then a maiden wicket — safely pouched by the skipper at mid‑off (a one handed special) who had finally decided to be present. Running backwards and sticking his right hand behind his head, he somehow removed the Professor. It was part catch, part yogaShot of the day belonged to Pete Webster, drafted in from the Lavant Sunday XI. He played a sumptuous off‑drive that deserved applause, champagne, and possibly a parade. pose.Chris “Big Pig” Pigden closed out the innings with two overs for 1–8, including a chopped‑on dismissal over middle stump. Chidham finished on 87, a total that felt both achievable

 The Chase: Lavant Make Light Work of It

A new opening pair strode out: Andy Richardson, fresh off a successful knock at Ebernoe, and Joe “Nonchalant” Seaman, who once again looked like he’d wandered out there by accident. Andy made a solid 18 before being bowled, while Joe cruised to another not‑out gem — 26 off 20, barely breaking a sweat. 

The opposition skipper decided to prolong the proceedings by changing ends every over, to punish the fielding side. Steve Cox came in at three and contributed 17 off 26, before being triggered LBW by Max “Little Pig” Pigden, standing in as an umpire. The skipper arrived next, making up for his late appearance by top‑edging a six into the field — a shot that had no right to clear the rope but did anyway. He finished with 12 off 9, all swagger, no shame. Debutant Ben Campbell finished the innings with 1 not out, and the final ball of the match was a double‑bouncer no‑ball, which felt like the perfect comedic ending to a day full of calamities. Lavant chased down 87 in 16.1 overs with 7wickets left in the bank. Everyone headed straight to the Earl of March to share stories of brilliance, blunders, and Tam’s 15mph thunderbolts. Sausages and stories were shared on a beautiful Thursday Evening.