Dark clouds loomed like a chapter out of Wuthering Heights. The South downs, looked more like the Yorkshire Moors. Earlier in the day the groundsman comprised of T rex, Muzza, Big D (Derek) and Tambo, were basking in the sunshine, preparing, watering and compacting the Hydrabad pitch, which was producing prodigious turn just a few days earlier. It must be noted that Lavant, does have the best village pitch out of all of the fixtures hands down, so many thanks to all that are involved behind the scenes (Robin, Derek) The sprinkler was getting a full workout, whilst the lawn mower was put to work like a donkey working a 12 hour shift. 

The physios arrived in dribs and drabs excited at the prospect of playing the inaugural Lavant vs Physio All Stars spectacle. 

A gentleman’s agreement was decided, which gave lavant an opportunity to bat first. A small crowd, with picnic blankets gathered at the Pavilion end. This was the final T20 game of the season. 

The skipper who was in good batting form decided to open up with the debutant Henry Weaver. The All stars opened up with Ian P (an unknown quantity) and L Emmitt (an experienced Walberton player. The opening batting pair started well going at about a run a ball. Henry was cautious at the beginning, being his first game in 6 years. Tran began about his work, cutting, driving and running byes. A couple of dropped chances and he was away. By the 5th and 6th over Lavant were at a respectable 54 off 6 overs. After batting cautiously, Henry cut loose and sent the ball off his hip for a maximum and a boundary. The other opener followed suit, dispatching another maximum to cow. After one too many big shots Henry was out for 12 caught out. Tambo had to retire not out on 26 resulting in the resident ‘thunder lizard’ to arrive at the crease. As always the short armed dinosaur cracked the ball to the boundary with confidence and ease. The leg side was clattered with 3 maximums and 2 boundary fours. At the other end Lloyd used his youth and pace to sneak singles. 

The run rate had ramped up to 9.7 after 10 overs, after the 2nd partnership. After Will T had retired, Kier (not Starmer) took to the crease. Just earlier he was seen practicing hitting hundreds of balls with his team mates. In only his 2nd attempt at thrme crease this season and a promotion to the middle order, a ball reared up took the top edge , over the keeper and that was his first runs for Lavant. Well done Kier. Confidence brewing he took a stride down the pitch and was caught and bowled by a smart catch down the track. Undone by a blinder.The Sunday Skipper strode out with greater confidence after a solid 40 on the weekend. He started with a single then clobnered 4 boundaries in a row for his next scorimg shots. Lloyd continued with some more sharp singles rotating the strike, like a bottle of glue sticking to the task. The scoreboard was ticking along nicely for at 135 off 14 overs. It was lookimg like a mamoth score. Next up to bowl was the opposition skipper. Phil Allen…..Yes thats right, you heard it correctly, ex lavant captain, and all rounder, but also a physio in a life outside of cricket. Looking to keep the momentum going, the wicket keeper batsman was clean bowled for 21. Next up to bat, James Allen. This allowed the perfect opportunity for bragging rights between the Allen brothers. P Allen bowled tightly and only went for 5 off 2 overs. 

James found it difficult to get going as the bowling tightened up. But did manage one 6 over long off. Lloyd however on the other end was chipping away….with singles. A special mention must go to Lloyd as he accomplished the astounding feat of 13 straight singles. Some could say he was the master of rotating the strike or maybe the field placements were perfect for his batting style. Lloyd ended up not out. James finished on 10 not out. 

The final score was 159 after 20 overs. Was this enough on a turning lavant pitch?

After a quick turnaround it was Lavants turn to bowl. With great consideration it was decided to open up with a brand new bowling attack. Kier opened from the River end and the other debutant Greg followed in behind on the same end. At the.conclusion of the 1st 2 overs, the opening batters were 19 off 2 over and off to a flier. The Walberton Physio was not messing around. Maybe he had done some resistence training back in the hospital before the match. Then the bowling pair started hit their straps and began to bowl with greater rhythm and flow. Greg struck cleaning up Paul G the opening bat. Kier bowled tightly on the other end then another wicket, stumps flying from Greg, knocking the pins of the #3 bat. Bowling with guile and grit on a turning pitch, his figures were an amazing 3-17 off the full compliment. Whilst Kier ended on 0-28 off 4. A solid opening bowling partnership. 

James Allen started with a wicket 1st ball and the oppo were 4 down. At this point….anything written is totally through the eyes of a blind man, as it was almost pitch black. People were talking, voices were heard but nobody could see anyone

It was the classic case of the blind leading the blind…..literally. Luckily we have a score book to try to find somewhat find a narrative for the story. Justin called for a pink ball was substituted for the safety of the players. This request was promptly instigated, to ensure the game was completed. In the distance I could hear Willie Mac, but it may have been a ghost or maybe just voices in my head. Henry was asked to bowl and started well. However the number 7 and 8 had other ideas for this tale. They fought their way smashing boundary after boundary. The skipper bought himself and even the premier bowler was despatched with disdain with the biggest 6 of the season through the trees, over the road, passing traffic and brick wall into the house. He was having 2nd thoughts about his own bowling change, but Lavant, as always, have their all rounders to rely on. In came William Thomas esquire to save to day. Running off a 3 step pace he cleaned up the dangerous number 8. Tam had a few catches dropped (through no fault of the fielders as it was an ink coloured sky). The next few slipped through the field and still went for boundaries. Fortunately he snaffled a wicket….caught by…… some one in the lavant team…in the dark. The wicket keeper was pleading for a square leg umpire as there was an opportunity for stumping. But this request fell upon deaf ears. No umpire came to his aid. Maybe this was a strategy from the oppo not to provide an umpire….maybe they were too busy enjoying the moment. 

Will T, again bowled the number 10 out for a duck. At this present moment, there was a hint of panic from the skipper as the last wicket brought in the retired opening Walberton batsmen. It was getting close the…. physios were buoyant, whooping and cheering, as they required about 32 off the last 2 overs for a historic win. Lavant still had the upper hand with many advantages:

1. No light

2. 2 wickets to obtain

3. Will T to mop up

4. Plenty of runs up their sleeve

Will T in his demure manner destroyed the Walberton openers stumps in quick fashion. The tide had turned, the lights were out (just like the song from the boy band 5ive) 

Phil Allen strode out to the crease after a long stint updating the score book. His last words to Tran were

“Be nice Tam”. Unfortunately for Phil, the pink ball did the talking and the lack of light aided him, Phil was bowled for 1 and the team was all out. 

The physios team finished on a very respectable 126. Who knows what could of prevailed, if there was any light left. 

There were a lot of happy smiles for a team that has ‘not really played much cricket.’ Village cricket was once again, the winner on the day. 

The Man of the match was an easy decision. 3 wickets or was it 4? ( 2 established batsmen) a catch, 29 retired not out and great ground preparation at 11 am. William Thomas, was the absolute stand out player on and off the field.

Champagne moment: Justin for umpiring 20 overs, hurrying up and directing the players, fielding 20 overs, not batting or bowling. (a selfless act for the team, once again) and Willy Mac for scoring the whole game, not batting or bowling and fielding the whole game. 

This was the last of the T20s for 2025, but the beginning of a new era. Six wins from Seven games. At an unbelievable 86% win rate. A very successful season, where it has been a pleasure to play with established players and where the team has welcomed new players alike. A longer speech will be given at the prizegiving dinner. A big thanks to all involved with my 1st season as skipper and I have thoroughly enjoyed playing with an awesome bunch of guys.

(Mic drop)